I need you
by YulianaHenderson
Summary: "'Did she tell you where she went' 'No.' 'Sure' A pause. 'She said she was going to Europe.' 'Where in Europe' Thomas sighed at the other end of the phone. 'She told me she would go to Ireland. But she could be somewhere in Italy or Spain as well.'" Lisbon is scared and confused, and makes probably the worst decision she ever made. Established Jisbon, Rated T. Epilogue uploaded!
1. Chapter One

**A/N: Okay, so I'm doing it again: I'm abandoning my other stories, but you have no idea how long and hard this plotbunny has been calling my name. So I decided to give it a shot, just to see how you would react.**

**Oh, and Jane and Lisbon have been on it for a few months prior to this story. Just saying.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Everything belongs to their respectful owners.**

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**_'I need you'_**

Jane sighed contently as he watched over the city. It seemed nobody was as happy as he was feeling right now. And, truth be told, he had never felt so happy either since his entire world had come crumbling down.

He knew they had to stop doing this. Not entirely stopping, that would mean his only beam of light would disappear. They had to stop being so secretive about it. He knew the purpose, he knew that it was meant for her to stay save. To not be hurt by Red John. But he couldn't stand it anymore.

He wanted to tell the world that Teresa Lisbon was his. Forever and ever.

As if she had heard him thinking about him – which was about always these days – she knocked on the door leading to his attic. He couldn't really see who was behind the door, but he knew it was Lisbon. It always was Lisbon.

He smiled. "Ye-e-es?"

The door opened and it did in fact show Lisbon.

"Well, hello there," Jane said, and walked over to Lisbon. She replied with a somewhat weak smile, which immediately let a lot of alarm bells ringing inside his head. There was something wrong.  
"Nothing's wrong," Lisbon said, apparently suddenly having the ability to read his mind, and she sighed. She walked further into his attic, passing him, not giving him a look.

"It's just... I..." She was frantically searching for words and Jane knew it.  
"Teresa-"

Lisbon cut him off by pulling him towards her and linking their lips. Jane immediately complied, like he always did – after all, he couldn't refuse anything she asked of him. It was like she had brainwashed him the moment they had confessed their feelings.

Lisbon pulled him with her towards the make-shift bed, and he immediately knew what she wanted. He was about to pull away, when she did.

"Please Patrick, I need this," she whispered, and her hands went to the buttons of his shirt. He knew in that moment that he was lost, and that whatever was bothering Lisbon wasn't going to stop them from doing this.

He made her step back the last few inches until the mattress hit the backs of her knees. She sank down and he was on her immediately, his fingers fumbling with the buttons of her blouse.

-YulianaHenderson-

The bed in the attic didn't provide that much space to lay on, especially not with two people, but neither of them had ever complained about being so close.

Jane looked down at Lisbon, who was making invisible circles on his chest. He sighed quietly, and then decided to confront her.

"What's bothering you, Teresa?"

"Nothing," she said, too quickly, and both of them almost came to believe the lie.

"Teresa," he said, this time a bit more insistent. She sighed, and cuddled herself into his side just a bit more.

"I'm scared," she whispered, almost inaudible.

And then, everything made sense to Jane.

Of course she was. He should've seen it already.

She was a cop, yes, but she was also a woman with feelings – feelings which he had tampered with _way_ too much, leaving permanent damage. She was still a human, and being Red John's target made her super alert every minute of every day.

And _of course_ she was scared. He couldn't blame her – he was scared as well.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Teresa," he whispered, and he could feel her swallowing.

"I know that. But you can't be sure of it."

"Of course I can."

"How?"

This made Jane pause. She was right. He couldn't be sure of his ability to keep her out of harm's way. He had told Angela and Charlotte that very same thing as well and everybody knew that that had failed miserably.

"I don't know," he whispered. She buried her face in the crook of his neck.

"We'll find something, Teresa. As long as we keep this a secret, you won't-"

"I don't want it to be a secret anymore, Patrick," she interrupted him, her voice still low, and Jane swallowed.

"Me neither. But you know that it's the best option for now."

They were silent again, and he took the moment to fondly run a hand up her spine to her neck and then back to the small of back.

It wasn't until he softly felt her body shaking that he realized she was crying.

His heart broke, and for the first time in years, he had no idea what to do, other than pull her closer and whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

Then, she pulled away. She wiped at her eyes, ridding them of her tears.

"I'm just tired of keeping us a secret. I don't want it to be a secret anymore, I love you," she said, her voice a bit shuddery but better than before. Jane nodded.  
"I know, Teresa," he whispered, and pulled her to him again. She took in a deep breath, and wrapped her arms around him again. "I love you too."

Jane skillfully moved his legs so to move the thin sheets over their bodies.

Lisbon was already falling asleep anyways.

-YulianaHenderson-

When Jane awoke, Lisbon was gone.

He looked outside, and saw it was already light. He figured she must have dressed again and went downstairs.

He sighed, sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He ran a hand through his hair.

How was he going to take this worry away from her, while he was scared as hell too?

She was his only light in this world now, if Red John would take her away from him, he would surely lose his mind or kill himself. He wanted to keep her out of harm's way, but he knew that it was a fantasy. He knew it was not possible. Red John seemed to be everywhere, he knew everything, so it wouldn't even surprise Jane if Red John already knew.

He sighed again, and got up. That's when he spotted a letter placed on his desk.

He frowned, quickly put on his boxers and walked over to the letter.

He froze when he recognized the handwriting.

_Dear Patrick,_

_I'm quite possibly the most selfish woman on this entire planet, but I can't live with it anymore. _

_I'm not killing myself, don't worry. I'm just... consider it leaving, for now. I need to get my thoughts straight and figured out. There is so much going on in my head, and I'm this close to breaking._

_When you're reading this letter, I'm gone. Don't come looking for me, or ask the team where I am – they don't know either. Nobody knows where I am – and that's probably for the best since Red John won't know either where I am._

_I'm not leaving because I don't love you, because you know I do. I won't ask you to keep waiting for me either. God only knows how long I will stay away – maybe for the rest of my life, which I don't hope – and I don't want you to stay alone forever. _

_I'm leaving because I'm scared. I'm such a coward, I know that, but I'm so scared. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life._

_Please, Patrick, if I'm not coming back: move on. Find a woman to love and make her happy like you made me happy. I won't blame you – I only want you to be happy._

_And catch Red John for me – hurt the son of a bitch._

_I will always love you, don't forget that._

_Teresa._

Jane stared at the letter for what seemed to be minutes, before the true meaning of the words on the paper dawned on him.

Lisbon was... gone? She just left?

He threw the letter on the desk, quickly put on his trousers and shirt, and ran downstairs.

The entire team was already present, installing themselves at their desks, ready for what they assumed to be a boring day.

Jane let out a frustrated sigh when he saw Lisbon was not in her office. Van Pelt was the first one to acknowledge him, and smiled at him.

"Morning, Jane. Have you seen Lisbon? She would be here most times when I arrive-"

"She's gone," Jane interrupted. Van Pelt frowned.  
"What do you mean?"

"She's gone," he repeated. This earned him confused looks from the entire team. "She's not here anymore. She left."

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**A/N: I keep torturing Lisbon, I know. But I think this is more torturing Jane, and you'll find out why in future chaps - if you'll give me the chance to continue this story, of course.**

**Let me know if I should continue it!**


	2. Chapter Two

**A/N: OMG guys. Thanks for the support! Now I'm going to disappoint you with this chapter, I know it.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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**_'I need you'_**

The team stared at Jane as if he had just grown a second head.  
"She's... _gone_? As in, really _gone_?" Rigsby asked, being the first one to actually being able to say something after such a bombshell.

Jane ran a hand through his hair, and nodded. He couldn't take his eyes off Lisbon's office, it being the only thing that reminded him of her.

"How do you know this?"

"Does that matter?"

"Yes, it does, Jane," Van Pelt said, matter-of-factly. He knew that she knew that her feelings were showing – Lisbon was her best friend. This was going to hurt for all of them.  
"Okay, so it doesn't matter. But _why_ did she leave?"  
"That's not the point-"

"Jane!"

He tore his eyes off Lisbon's office to look at the redhead. She was more worried than he had ever seen her – and it was only now that Jane realized that the two men at the other side of the bullpen were eerily quiet.

"Red John," Jane said. Van Pelt gasped.  
"He took her-"

"No, he didn't take her. She left because of him. She was scared of him."

Now, the woman was confused. She frowned. "Why? Why would she be scared of him? It wasn't like you two were..."

Then, she realized the situation, and her eyes went wide. "Oh. My. God."

Jane fought the urge to smile. This was really _not_ how he had wanted to tell them about his and Lisbon sleeping together. He had wanted to tell it with the actual person he was sleeping with.

He nodded. He could see on the female agent's face that she wanted to party, but then decided against it since this was not the time to get wild.

"Okay. Okay. So you _were_ sleeping together. So what? Lisbon has been his target ever since you started working with the team."

Jane nodded. "I know that she's scared, and she has all right to, but I don't understand why she left... we should have thought of something _together_."

Van Pelt nodded.

"She's hiding something," Cho deadpanned, and Jane frowned, looking at the man.

"What is she hiding?"

Cho chose to stare at Jane, with that Cho expression that said, 'are you stupid?'.

"I bet she's pregnant."

Jane shook his head. "No, it can't be. I would've noticed. Right? I would've, I..." He paused, and almost sank down to the floor when he realized Cho was probably right.

He had always had the freaky ability to know when women were having their periods – he had always thought it a useless ability, but for some women, it was obvious. Women like Teresa Lisbon. She would always stuff herself with so much chocolate she would be sick for days – and since he sorta kinda lived with her now – if spending the nights at her place was living together – he knew all about these chocolate bars in the cupboards in her kitchen.

And he now realized that she hadn't had these cravings when she should've had them.

He was _pathetic_.

"She _is_ pregnant, isn't she?" Van Pelt asked, her voice soft, and Jane had to walk over to his couch to prevent himself from breaking down on the floor. He fell onto his couch, not caring how much it hurt.

Jane felt himself losing the battle against his tears – he hadn't noticed he was fighting the battle – and nodded. He buried his head in his hands.

"She is."

The rest of the team was silent, looking at Jane as he silently cried. They exchanged some looks before deciding Van Pelt had to be the one comforting him – the two men were bad at comforting people anyways.

She hesitantly walked over the couch and sat down beside him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"We will find her, Jane. _Before_ she makes crazy decisions like trying to raise the baby alone or getting an abortion." She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. She winched, and she saw Jane had the same reaction, sobbing even harder.

"Though I don't think she will get an abortion," she quickly added, but it was too late.

Suddenly, Jane jumped up. "I have to find her. She can't be too far. She must still be somewhere in the state. Grace, you have to do some of your magic and find out where her phone is."

Van Pelt looked at him for a few seconds, then sighed. She walked over to her computer, and reluctantly started typing in some things. "I don't think she would be as stupid as taking her phone with her. She's on the run now, Jane. Taking her phone with her would be the worst mistake she could ever make – and she's not stupid."

Jane groaned, but didn't say anything until Van Pelt got some results on her screen. He all but dove beside her, looking at the screen, and then both groaned when they saw what they had been dreading.  
"It's in her office," Van Pelt sighed, and Jane ran a hand through his hair. He then ran over to her office, and froze when he saw another letter on her desk.

_Dear Patrick,_

_By the time you're reading this, you know I left and you know why._

_I'm sorry, Patrick. I know I should stay with you, we should be doing this together, but I don't want to live the rest of my life fearing that something might happen to our child. I want our baby to grow up happily and without worries. Last night, I realized that that isn't going to be here with you._

_I'm sorry for hurting you, I really am, but I do believe that this is the best option we have. What if I stayed and our child would grow up and then suddenly, Red John would attack and take either you or me and then he or she would have to live with the grief of losing a parent. I personally know what that does to you, I don't want our child to have that same feeling his/her entire life. I want to shield our child from that. I hope you understand that._

_I'm still not sure where I'm going, but at least out of the country. That much I can tell you._

_I'm sorry, Patrick. I really, really am. And I may sound really irrational now but I want what's best, for all three of us._

_This is not some romantic movie, Patrick, and that is why I don't want you to come after me. I need time, that's all. And I know that despite how many times I'm going to tell you that, you're coming after me anyways. Just take care of yourself, Patrick. I still want you to be there when I'm ready for a confrontation._

_I still love you. And I hope that when I return, you will be able to forgive me._

_Love,_

_Teresa._

"There you have your proof," Cho said. Jane startled, dropping the letter. He turned around and saw the team standing behind him. Of course Cho was right – he was always right, after all.

"We'll find her, Jane. I promise. If it takes us searching the entire globe, then that's what we'll do. And you're not alone in this. Don't forget that."

-YulianaHenderson-

Cho was calling Director Bertram for possible solutions for this situation – the director said he would use everything within his reach to find Lisbon. Since 'Lisbon was one of his most valuable people and the unit could not function without her'. All of them knew that was sweet talk, Bertram didn't give a flying one about his people.

Rigsby checked Lisbon's office to see if there were any traces left that could lead them to their boss' location, but Rigsby knew it was a useless task. Lisbon truly wasn't stupid – she wouldn't leave behind traces, even if she left in a rush she would think about her plans and cover up her traces.

Van Pelt tried calling airports around the country to ask if they had seen Lisbon, but nobody seemed to remember anything. Which was a shame, because at the moment, that was the best trace they had.

Jane strolled through the bullpen, occasionally groaning and cursing at himself for being so stupid. He should've seen it coming, he should've seen the signs that she was pregnant. She had always been obvious – then how could she hide something as major as this?

He also wondered how far she was now in her pregnancy. She couldn't be at the end of her first trimester since she wasn't showing yet.

Dammit all to hell!

"Jane," Van Pelt said softly, pulling him out of his reverie, and he looked at her with so much hope the woman swallowed. "You need to stop blaming yourself."

"But it's my fault-"

"It's not, Jane. You know that as well."

"Then whose fault is it-"

"Red John's. It's Red John's fault, and you know it. Though I think running away won't solve anything, I get Lisbon's fear."

"But I want her to be here-"

"We know. Trust me, we do. Go, sleep a bit. You need rest, Jane."

Jane wanted to protest, but he knew Van Pelt was right. He nodded faintly at her, then walked up to his attic, finally breaking down on his make-shift bed, crying as he smelled Lisbon everywhere.

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**A/N: Leave a review, thanks!**


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N: I had a whole Author's Note full of ranting and bitching but I decided against it. The only thing that I want to say is that I'm just 17 (in reaction to somebody saying my writing style is rather juvenile) and not a Native English speaker. Of course, that last thing shouldn't be an excuse, but I'm learning, I'm in an English teacher training programme, and it's a process. I won't become freaking Jane Austen, but it's going to take time before I'm on a good level. In the meantime, I hope you're able to cut me some slack, because neither of us likes to either give or receive criticism.**

**Oh, and in addition to the given facts above: could you please log in when you criticize me? I'd like to discuss your points, and I know that most people don't want to be recognized when they criticize but I'd really like to know what you think about my stories. Because, be honest, the criticism given is... superficial. It only says OOC. Which is something really strange to say because you can't know for sure if a character could act like that. People change, after all. **

**But, anyways: for the ones that ****_were_**** positive about this story: Thanks so much! I love you! ^^ Even when I'm only writing for myself, I love getting positive comments!**

**And a warning: this chapter is mostly dialogue, but I felt like they really had to discuss what was on their minds instead of thinking about it :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly. I didn't even own my laptop yesterday since I forgot my laptop at school...**

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**_'Please don't leave me'_**

"Jane?" Van Pelt said gently, but just as usually, she got no reply. Jane didn't move a muscle. "Jane, I'm serious. Should we call Lisbon's family?"

Jane just shrugged. Van Pelt groaned.

"We need your help as well, Jane! We can't find Lisbon all on our own! You know her best-"

"That doesn't mean I know where she is now."

"But you have an idea-"

"No."

"But her family could have an idea-"

"You don't know-"  
"So I'm gonna check."

"You do that."

Van Pelt groaned, turned around on her heels and walked back to her desk.

"I want to find her as well. We all do. But the behavior you're showing now is _not_ helping," Van Pelt stated. Jane opened his eyes just barely, and looked at Van Pelt.

"I love her, Grace. I'm _in love_ with her. She's _carrying_ _my_ _child_. And she's _gone_. I wanted to start a new family with her and she just left me."

"She ran away-"

"She left me."

"Are we going to do this the entire day? You have to stop blaming yourself for all what's happening now and start to help us. We need your help, Jane."

It was silent then, and Van Pelt started working on her computer again. A few minutes later, Jane let out a long sigh and stood up.

"Fine. I'll call Thomas."

-YulianaHenderson-

"Thomas Lisbon."

Jane suppressed the urge to scream. He was so frustrated.

"Hey, Thomas. It's me, Jane."

"Oh, hi Patrick."

Jane paused. Was he sure about this? Yes, he was. He had to find Lisbon. "Uh... Well, Lisbon left."

It was silent at the other end, and for a few moments, Jane feared the man had hung up. Then, he heard his voice again. "And why are you telling me this?"

Okay, that sounded strange. Apparently, Thomas understood everything Jane had said, because he didn't ask any question. But how could he know so much by just two words?

"Because I want to find her."

"And who says I can help-"

"Where is she, Thomas?"

It was silent again, and Jane knew enough. "Is she with you?"

Again, no reply. "Thomas!"

"She _was_, okay! She's not here anymore!"

Jane almost cursed. "Dammit!" There went the 'almost' part.

"What are you going to do now?"

"Did she tell you where she went?"

"No."

"Sure?"

A pause. "She said she was going to Europe."

Okay, that was a start. "Where in Europe?"

"I don't know."

"Thomas..."

"Dammit, Jane! You're not supposed to know where she is!"

"Why not?"

"Because she's on the run-"

"But not from me!"

"Well, what if she _is_-"

"It can't-"

"How can you be sure?"

"I can't be sure. Not with Lisbon anyways. She's unpredictable. But I want to call her, want to talk to her. I want to know if she's fine."

Thomas sighed at the other end. "You know she's pregnant, don't you?"

"I do, but right now, I don't care about her pregnancy. I can't be worried about _her_?"

"Sure you can."

"Then why are you-"

"She told me she would go to Ireland."

Jane frowned. "Why Ireland?"

Thomas sighed again, only now Jane did as well. He thought he knew Lisbon, but apparently, he didn't.

"Our dad was Irish. He immigrated to the US when he was eighteen. Our dad's family is still in Ireland – the bigger part, that is."

"Lisbon's Irish?"

"Half-Irish, actually. Our mother was American. Look, I thought you knew my sister-"

"I thought I did, yes."

Both were silent again. Jane toyed with his wedding band. He made a mental note to take it off and place it somewhere safe.

"So she's in Ireland?"

"I guess so, but I can never be sure with Teresa. She's always wanted to go to Europe. Just see the different countries there. So she could very well be somewhere in Italy as well."

"And can you give me the address of your grandparents-"

"No. No, Jane, I can't. I can't, and I won't. She can't contact any of us, neither you nor us. It's best-"

"She's pregnant, Thomas!"

"I know, Jane! Can't you cut her some slack? I mean, just look at yourself. You're broken, even though I'm sure you had something that interested Teresa because otherwise, she would've treated you like crap like you did her before you two started... sleeping together. But you're crap and you'll always be crap. And your messed up past can come back to haunt you, and Teresa and the baby. To be fair, I can completely understand her right now. Though the way she does it is probably wrong, she just needs time. She's been living in doubts ever since our dad died, and the fact that she's going to be responsible of somebody who can't protect itself is more than she can handle. You should know, she's responsible of you as well. She will come back, Jane. I know it. Just give her some time-"

"I don't have time-"

"You do, and so does she. She's only two months pregnant. She won't stay away forever. She's not as cruel as you. She'll come back for the birth."

"What if she doesn't? She's smart, she won't travel back to the US. The only people she has in Ireland are your grandparents. And what with all the pregnancy hormones, she can't have covered all her tracks."

"You don't have any trust in her-"

"The night she left, she cried in my arms, Thomas. She cried because she was scared. She never cries."

"So now she can't cry?"

"Your words, not mine. I'm not saying she can't cry, I'm just saying that she never does. That means that the pregnancy hormones are messing with her head. So can you agree with me that she might not be herself now?"

"I guess."

"Then can you acknowledge my fear?"

"Sure."

"Good."

"But I'm scared too, Jane. It's not just you."

"I know that."

Thomas hesitated, before continuing. "She won't listen to anybody. I don't agree on her running away from you, but you're still the only person she wants to listen to. Kind of."

"So what do you suggest I do?"

"Nothing. Wait for her to come back to her senses."  
"We don't know if she ever will."

"She won't be pregnant forever."

"Of course not."

"If I tell you were she _might_ be in Ireland, will you promise me you won't tell anyone? Teresa made me promise too. I don't like breaking promises."

Jane hesitated, then sighed. "Well fine. Can I go to her-"

"No."

"Thomas."

Thomas let out a frustrated groan. "In the south, there's this city called Cork. She's there – or at least, that's where our aunt and uncle live. I don't know for how long she'll stay there."

"Okay, tha-"

"If you find her – don't force her to come back with you, Jane. You might want her to choose you over the baby and her, but she'll really choose the baby. Believe it or not."

"And why are you telling me this?"

"Because I want her to be happy. And I want to see you happy too, if that's with my sister. But she can be stubborn, like big time. She was a real brat the first twelve years of her life, until our mother died and Teresa had to take over her job as mother. She will do what's best for her baby, Jane, because she always did that for us as well."

"I expect nothing less."

"Good. Good luck, Patrick."

-YulianaHenderson-

When Jane came downstairs, phone and jacket in his hand, the team frowned at him.

"You leaving?"

Jane nodded.

"Where are you going?" Van Pelt asked, standing up and facing him.

"Ireland."

The team looked at him as if he told them he was quitting looking for Red John.

"Excuse me?" Rigsby asked. Van Pelt grew furious.

"You can't just go to Ireland, Jane! What the hell are you thinking?"

"You told me to call Thomas. I did, and he told me that Teresa might be in Ireland."

Van Pelt stared at him for a few seconds. "Why Ireland?"

"Did you know Teresa is half-Irish?"

Jane didn't know how much surprises the team could handle now, with the whole Lisbon disappearing thing still fresh on their minds. And he didn't know whose face was more priceless: Van Pelt's or Rigsby's.

"Are you kidding me? No, I didn't know that!"

"Her father was Irish. He moved to the US when he was eighteen."

"So she's Irish American. I hate it when she doesn't tell us these things."

Jane nodded. Van Pelt groaned to herself. "So what are you gonna do now? You're seriously going to Ireland?"

"Of course I am. I need to find her."

"You can't do this, Jane-"

"I have to-"

"I mean, you can't go on your own. I know you well enough to know you're quite incapable when you're on your own."

Jane frowned at Van Pelt, though he knew she was right.

He was a fool without Lisbon – or anyone else from the team, for that matter.

He sighed, and nodded. "What do you suggest?"

Both were silent, and the four of them exchanged some thoughtful looks, before Van Pelt swallowed and nodded.

"I'll do it. I'll come with you. But you have to promise me something, Jane. Promise me you won't do anything stupid. I'll be responsible for you, and since I'm not Lisbon... I'm not sure whether I can handle you if you'll be yourself."

Jane nodded.

"I'm serious. Think of your child. You want to see your child, right? Then behave."

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**A/N: For starters: Lisbon isn't Irish, but Robin is. So I use that in basically all of my stories, because it's exciting, y'know, to have somebody in your fics that's not entirely American - especially because I think I know more about Ireland than I know about the US. But maybe that's because Ireland is closer ^^**

**And yes, Jane and Van Pelt are really going to Ireland. Because, let's be honest here, Jane never really listens to people so why would he listen to Tommy? Exactly.**

**Leave me a REVIEW, please!**


	4. Chapter Four

**A/N: Thanks to the AMAZING sorchauna for helping me with the Irish parts and for giving me so much information on the country that I now know more about Ireland than The Netherlands! She's amazing, I freaking love her ^^**

**There's a small dictionary in the second Author's Note for the Irish words, but I think that if you read the context, you'll understand what they say!**

**And I'm gonna thank everybody here in my Author's Note because you guys made me so freaking happy! ^^**

**_Special Agent Barker_****: Haha, they're gonna have ****_such_**** an adventure in Ireland, lol. And I'll think about a beta, I just don't really want to have to depend on other people for my publishing rate... If you understand what I mean with this. Love you, you're my favorite reviewer ^^**

**_HannahbananaJane_****: Your review made me so happy! I really don't know if I would've have been happy without it... I'm not really insecure but of course I don't like receiving criticism. Your review just made my day! ^^ Thanks for reviewing!**

**_Guest_****: See, this is why I don't really like anonymous reviews... because really, they said that? 'Lisbon is half-Irish, half-Portuguese'. That's epic! Thanks for telling me! ^^**

**_Teresa L Jane_****: Thanks for boosting my ego, Dearie! And I hope this is quick enough! ^^**

**_GoTobann_****: I'm glad you've decided to log in and review! Thanks for reviewing!**

**_Idonthaveaname_****: You're so right, thanks for stating that! ^^**

**_julia pitt_****: Thanks for reviewing!**

**And thanks to everybody who are following it now!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Hmm. Meh. Blabla. No.**

* * *

**_'Please don't leave me'_**

"Teresa," Fiona Reid exclaimed, but softly, at her niece. Lisbon turned around, to see her aunt standing in the doorway. Both women smiled, and Lisbon walked back into the house.

Fiona gently wrapped an arm around Lisbon's waist. "Never figured you would only come to visit us while you were on the run, dear."

Lisbon sighed, as she sat down at the kitchen table, next to her uncle.

"To be fair – neither did I."

"I still don't understand how Peter could hide such a beautiful young woman like yourself," Redmond Reid said, smiling at Lisbon. Said woman just rolled her eyes.

"Did you actually _want_ to visit us, Teresa?" Fiona asked, and Lisbon immediately nodded.

"It wasn't just because of me being pregnant."

Fiona looked at her niece, her head tilted, and Lisbon chuckled.

"Okay, maybe it was, a bit. But I do love you. You're the only people I trust right now."

Again, Fiona just stared at Lisbon. Her eyes flickered to Lisbon's belly for a split-second, but enough for Lisbon to notice.

"What about the kid's papa?"

Lisbon bit her lip. "I didn't discuss this with him."

Were Fiona holding plates, she would have dropped them, it was evident in her whole demeanor.

"Oh my, Teresa! You have to call him! He must be worried sick about you! Here, the phone's here-"

"I'm not going to call him."

"Teresa!" Fiona exclaimed, causing both Redmond and Lisbon to startle. "You're a tool, you know that? You look like your aul man," Fiona snapped, and left the little kitchen to storm into the living room.

When Lisbon was left behind, flabbergasted, she felt a hand on hers.

"She cares about you. But the last time she saw you, you were still a young cailín. She don't like it one bit that you're becoming a ma yourself. You oughta give her some time, Bab."

Lisbon sighed. She put her elbows on the table, and her head in her hands. "I know. It's just... it came out of the blue for me too. Just when I thought Jane and I were getting somewhere, I had just the luck to get pregnant."

"That's guff, Bab. It's okay to be pregnant. I get you're scared, but your ma was too. Now, you shall call that Jane of yours."

"I can't-"

"Raise that dote yourself. Absolutely right."

Lisbon lifted her head, and groaned. "I can't tell anyone where I am."

Redmond sighed, but still handed her the phone.

"You don't have to get your chap here. Just let him know you're breathing."

Lisbon looked at the phone, briefly brushed her belly and then sighed.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Patrick Jane. Yes. Thank you," Jane said, smiling at the woman behind the counter after he and Van Pelt had passed on their passports. Van Pelt tapped his shoulder gently. Jane turned around, and she saw immediately that the smile that he had used to charm his way into the woman's likes was an obvious fake one. She swallowed.

"How are you going to get Lisbon to come with you?"

"I'm not trying to get her to come with me. I only want to see her, and I want to know what she's planning for her and the baby. She can't be serious to keep the baby away from me."

Van Pelt nodded, but it was only sympathetically. She wasn't sure Jane made much sense – but she didn't make much sense either.

Jane's eyes suddenly widened, and Van Pelt frowned, before he got his phone out of his pocket and almost dropped it with the haste he made in answering the call.

"Jane."

He heard a sigh of relief at the other end, and he would always recognize that sigh.

"Teresa, where the hell are you?"

"Don't worry, Jane. I'm safe."

"And you're pregnant. Do you have _any_ idea what I'm feeling now-"

"Now it's about you? I'm the one who ran away."

"Yes, and I still don't understand why you did it."

"Look, I can't speak to you for long, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm fine, and the baby is as well."

"Well, I can check that out for myself because I'm on my way to Ireland."

There was a silence at the other end. "You're flying to Ireland?"

Jane nodded, not caring that she couldn't see it. "I'm on the airport."

"In Ireland?"

"No, Sacramento. Teresa, I'm serious. Don't go anywhere. We need to talk this over."

"We're talking now, aren't we?"

"No, we're not and you know it. Are you genuinely serious about raising our child on your own, in another continent? Away from its father, who would spoil it senseless?"

"Jane..." He heard a frustrated sigh, and was almost afraid Lisbon would hang up. "Jane, please."

"I get it, you're scared. But this is not the solution, Teresa. I would do anything to keep Red John away from you-"

"And that's just the problem! I can't trust you with that!"

Jane froze, almost dropping the phone. Once again, he was fighting a battle against his tears – a battle he was destined to lose. "You... you don't trust me?" He didn't care anymore that Lisbon could obviously hear he was upset. Because he _was_ upset.

"Oh god, Patrick... no, I do trust you. I... You haven't exactly given me prove yet that you won't kill Red John. For as much as I know, you still want to rip him apart. I will lose you to him, Patrick. I want to protect our child from feeling that pain."

"Even if that means that our child would never be _our_ child?"

"If that is what it takes, then yes."

"Dammit, Teresa! Why are you doing this? Do you hate me or what?"

"Of course I don't! We wouldn't be having this problem if I hated you!"

Jane sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. He had a hard time trying to keep his calm. Lisbon could be stubborn, he knew that, but now that she was in another country with their child, he felt himself panicking every minute more he was away from her.

"Is it because of me or because of Red John?"

"Red-"

"Be honest with me, Teresa, please. Me or Red John?"

Lisbon was quiet again, before she let out a long sigh. "Both. Don't get me wrong, I love you with all my heart, but... you're both dangerous... Red John is still out there and he's intent on destroying your happiness and I don't want to lose my probably only child to him... our baby is too precious for that. But you're a threat indirectly. I know you wouldn't hurt me or the baby, it's just..."

"You're leaving Ireland now, aren't you?"

Lisbon was silent for a good minute. "Not Ireland entirely."

"Tell me where you're going."

"If I would tell you my new location, it wouldn't make sense to go to that new location, now would it? I know you will find me eventually, but think this over, Patrick. What kind of future can I give our child – can _we_ give our child? I still don't know if you're over your first child-"

"Don't include Charlotte in this-"

"So you're still not over her. Look, I understand it. Completely. I'm gone for that same reason. Kind of. But as long as I don't know whether you're completely ready for a new family, I'm gonna run."

"And where are you going then?"

"Well, I've always wanted to see the rest of Europe. The only thing I've seen here is where I am now – Ireland. I've heard a lot of stories about London and Amsterdam being great."

"Teresa, don't do this."

"Why not, Patrick?"

"Because I love you. I don't want to be separated from you. _You_ may be able to do this, but _I_ _can't_."

He could almost _hear_ Lisbon swallowing. "I'm sorry, Patrick. I love you."

"No, don't hang up. Teresa, wait!"

He then heard the sound of a conversation being ended, and he threw the phone in front of him, faintly noticing Van Pelt catching it. He put his hands to his head and groaned loudly, earning himself a lot of annoyed and irritated glances from the rest of the people.

"Dammit!" he exclaimed, and almost wanted to hit something, hit it hard. But he decided against it.

He had to get to Europe, now. He had to find her. Before she got used to the thought of raising their child without him.

* * *

**A/N: It's so strange to be writing about Europe as if I'm not in it, lol. I've been living in Europe all my life so it would make more sense to be talking about 'leaving and going to the US' instead of 'leaving and going to Europe'. It's not very much leaving then, if you're already in Europe. But anyways, Jane's going to Europe, *yay* ^^**

**Little dictionary for the Irish words/phrases: tool = idiot, aul man = father, cailín = young child, guff = nonsense, dote = 'a lovely little thing, usually a baby', chap = man (but I do admit 'chap' is rather British and not really Irish... but oh well).**

**But leave me a review, please! I'm extremely unsure about this story (but then again, while checking this story I was listening to Little Mix' new album DNA which is awesome... It's pretty damn impossible to feel insecure while listening to that album.) But review anyways, it's appreciated!**


	5. Chapter Five

**A/N: *yay* I'm pretty content with the people that are still reading this story, seriously. With the first chapter, when I had almost 50% hate and 50% love, I was really afraid nobody would love it but you still do, and I'm ****_so_**** glad about that! So thank you so freaking much! I love you all!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Meh.**

* * *

**_'I need you'_**

"How sure are you of that, Jane?" Van Pelt asked.

Jane shrugged. The steward showed them to their places – thankfully, they were next to each other. Jane wasn't exactly feeling like talking about Lisbon and their child with someone in between them. That would be awkward.

"Not hundred percent. But Teresa's not stupid. She knows I'm coming, so she'll vanish again."

"Is this what your relationship is going to be about, Jane? You come close to her and she'll disappear?"

Jane sighed, and shrugged. "I don't like it either."

Van Pelt put her head against the comfortable chair, and closed her eyes.

"If it were just the two of you, I would've have stopped you. But soon enough, it's not only going to be you two, you're going to get a baby together-"

"So much for the together part if she is at the other end of the world."

Van Pelt groaned, and crossed her arms against her chest. She didn't like this. She didn't like seeing one of her best friends hurt by her best friend. She didn't like being involved in something so big – and tragic – as this.

That didn't mean she would stop, by no means. After all, she's always wanted to go to Europe. But that didn't take away the fact that this was getting too personal, and she hated personal.

"What do you suggest we do?" she asked, and Jane thought this question over for a few moments.

"It's redundant to go to where she is now. She's already gone by the time we get there."

Van Pelt nodded. "True. But do you know where she's going now?"

Jane paused, and then sighed. He shook his head, sadly.

"No, I don't. She said something about London and Amsterdam but it would be obvious to go there now, since she told me. Dammit, it's almost like she's running away from _me_!"

"Well... in a way, she is."

"I'm _not_ Red John-"

"I didn't say you were, Jane. But you kinda brought him into her life. She had only been working the case before you started working with her."

Jane sighed, knowing Van Pelt was right. He had been the primary reason Red John was after her – so, indirectly, he had only himself to blame for what was happening now. If he hadn't been so caught up in getting revenge, and had just moved on from Angela and Charlotte, he wouldn't have met Lisbon and he wouldn't have to go all the way to Europe to convince her to stay with him.

But then again, he wouldn't have met Lisbon, and he would've been dead. Nobody else could save him like she'd done.

"So where are we going?"

Jane hesitated, then nodded. "To Lisbon's family."

-YulianaHenderson-

"So you're really going, Bab?" Lisbon hesitated. She knew it was unfair to use her family like this, but she was sure they would understand eventually. Even if they were upset now. It was the right thing to do. She nodded.

"I loved staying here, even for just a day. But if Jane finds me, Red John will too."

The two people nodded, before Fiona pulled her niece in for a tight hug. "You take care of yourself, Teresa. It's gonna be just fine. Just don't be thick, dear. Don't raise your little bear on your own. Your man wants to help you, that much's clear. He wouldn't come to here just for nothing."

Lisbon nodded. "I know... wait, did you just call my child a bear?"

Fiona blushed and averted her eyes. Lisbon smiled, and pulled her aunt to her again. "Thank you." Lisbon walked over to the door.

"And what if your chap comes here?"

Lisbon paused in her tracks, and turned around. "Tell him I love him."

"Teresa-"

"I'm serious. If he finds me, Red John will too. That's the whole reason I'm here in the first place. I didn't want to leave him, but I _had_ to. For our baby. I want him to know that despite all that I do, I still love him."

Fiona sighed. "You're a smart woman, Teresa. I trust you do the right thing."

Lisbon nodded. "I will."

-YulianaHenderson-

Jane looked at the little note, then at Van Pelt, at the house and then at the note again. He nodded.

"This should be it."

Van Pelt nodded back, and walked up the porch to the front door. Jane followed her. He realized that Van Pelt had more balls than he had – metaphorically speaking. But maybe that was because she still was the cop here and he wasn't. And maybe, just maybe, Van Pelt tried to be like her role model. Which she did a great job in, actually.

"Thank you, for doing this," Jane said, but she just shrugged.  
"I want to find Lisbon as much as you do."

The door opened, to reveal a dark-haired woman, probably somewhere in her mid-sixties. He immediately knew he was at the right place here.

"Uh... hi," the woman said, a bit awkwardly, and Jane reached out his hand.  
"Patrick Jane. This is Grace van Pelt."

The woman's eyes widened. Yes, she knew who he was.

"Ah, you're here. Come in," she said, and stepped aside. Once Jane and Van Pelt were inside, he couldn't help but check the living room to see if Lisbon was sat there. Of course she wasn't, what was he thinking?

"Teresa has been here, hasn't she?" Jane asked immediately, and it seemed Fiona wasn't even surprised by his direct approach.

"She was, yes."

"Did she say where-"

"She said to tell you that she loves you," she said, and Jane noticed she was suppressing her what appeared to be heavy Irish accent.

He lowered his shoulders, and ran a hand through his hair. Fiona immediately walked over to Jane and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Teresa cares about you. And your babby as well. No worries." When Jane just continued sighing and groaning, she walked over to a counter and retrieved something. She gave it to Jane when she returned to him.

"That's my brother, Peter. Teresa's father. He was a drunk, always was. I didn't believe he was capable of raising children, but apparently, Brianna thought he was. She was great, my brother wasn't. I'm guessing you know that Reese's parents passed away when she was a young girl. She had to raise her brothers all on her own. She became really good at putting other's lives before her own. It's not fair, but it's the truth. She doesn't run away for _her_ – she does it for you and your babby."

"But if she would love me-"

"She's banjaxed, Patrick, just like her pa! I thought you knew my niece but you don't know anything about her!"

"I _do_-"

"What are the names of her brothers?"

Jane frowned. "Thomas, James and..." Jane paused, and Fiona knew enough.

"Look, the fact that I don't know her brothers doesn't mean that-"

"Her brothers mean everything to her."

"And you're implying that I mean nothing to her?"

"Course not. She _loves_ you-"

"Then give me one good reason why she's doing right in running away from me."

This threw Fiona. Though Jane knew that the woman would probably be able to name a hundred good points about her niece, the fact that Jane needed this kind of thing slightly worried her.

"Love."

"That's a bit vague."

"She's in love, you tool. With you. She hasn't ever been in love. She's scared."

Jane frowned. Now there was something he hadn't known of Lisbon – he kept learning more and more of her with the day. Which he considered a good thing, because Lisbon was truly an interesting woman.

"She's never been in love before?"

"You think she'd have time for that? Where would she fit it in? Between cooking for her brothers and lulling them to sleep? Or between being a darned good cop and fearing for her life because of that serial killer? Be real here."

Jane sank down on the nearest surface, which turned out to be a couch – not so strange. He ran a hand through his hair.

He realized it now. He got it all.  
It wasn't Lisbon who had screwed up – it was him. Maybe it was because he had waited too long, or because he didn't completely devote himself to her – which he knew she deserved like no other – but he knew it was all his fault.

He groaned. "Dammit. I hate myself. Where is Teresa now?"

"Oh, Patrick, I'm not sure if I can tell you-"  
"Where is Teresa?" he hissed, standing up and going over to the woman. Van Pelt was just in time to stop him from doing something completely stupid as hitting Lisbon's aunt. Fiona was intimidated by Jane, though, and he felt a tiny bit of victory inside him – though he didn't know where. He was doing quite alright in fighting his way to his woman.

"She said she would travel through Ireland, but I don't know where to. I'm sorry, Patrick." When Jane was about to hit something again, she stopped his arm mid-air. "Wait. She told me to give you something."

She reached into the pocket of her flowery blouse, and got something out of it, placing it in Jane's hand. "It's her mother's cross, but I'm sure you already knew that. It's her most valuable possession, and she wants this to be prove to you that she'll come back to you, if only to get back that cross."

Jane closed his hand, as well as his eyes. Just to shield anyone from seeing the hurt in them. He almost lost the battle against his tears again.

"I will do anything to find her, Fiona. If it takes me to completely quit the search for Red John, then I'll do that. If it takes me to forever travel across the world in order to find her, then I'll do just that. I want to grow old together with her. I love her."

Fiona gently cupped his cheeks, and sighed. Jane opened his eyes, and looked into the familiar emerald eyes – it must rule in the family, if even Lisbon's aunt had the same eyes. No, not the same eyes, Jane corrected himself. Lisbon's eyes were more beautiful.

"I'm sure you'll find her. True love always finds its way."

* * *

**A/N: Like always: I need reviews to keep posting, and more reviews will shorten the wait for the next chapter ^^**


	6. Chapter Six

**A/N: In order for you to not be completely annoyed by me, this Author's Note is gonna be rather short to compensate with the second Author's Note, which is **_**looong**_**. Thanks for reviewing guys!**

**And I wanted to post this chapter earlier but I was ill a big part of the weekend and every time I even **_**thought**_** of having to check this chapter and posting it, my headache increased and my head already almost exploded... And I was all shaking and feverish and I couldn't stand it anymore. I went to bed at 6 pm yesterday and then when I woke up at twelve at night, I was wide awake and I hated myself at that moment. Oh well.**

**Disclaimer: It doesn't matter apparently that it's Christmas and I specifically asked both Sinterklaas and Santa Claus for at least Robin Tunney. But hey, look at me, I still own nothing. I don't know what's happening here either.**

'_**I need you'**_

_Two months later_

Van Pelt hooked her arm into Jane's, and the man smiled sweetly back at her.

"Come on, Jane, I'm sure you can tell me."

Jane stared at her, slowing down his pace a bit, but then shook his head. "I'm sure you and Teresa would have great pleasure in discussing these kind of things but I'm a man. I shouldn't be talking about it."

"Why not?"

"Because... Well. I don't know. Maybe because before Teresa disappeared, we didn't even tell you and the team that we were sleeping together. And now you suddenly want to know what it was like?"

Van Pelt chuckled, and nodded. "I'm just curious."

"I figured," Jane groaned, and Van Pelt chuckled again. Jane sighed. Then, he smiled a wicked smile. He had found a way of avoiding questions again. "Well, can I ask you what it's like for you then?"

Van Pelt seemed startled by this question. Of course everybody knew she was a mature woman, sex shouldn't be a problem, and yet, it was. It was a problem.

Because the only person who it had felt right with was... She blushed.

"Ah. So it's good?" Jane asked teasingly, and Van Pelt groaned, averting her eyes.  
"I hate it when you do that," she said. All of a sudden, the scenery was a lot more interesting.

Jane was glad Van Pelt let it slide. If she would have pushed it more, he would have talked about all the feelings Lisbon gave him while on it, and he wasn't sure Lisbon would like that. He just had too many feelings for it to be a secret forever.

"For what it's worth," Jane started, flashing Van Pelt his 1000-watt smile, "it was good."  
She saw Jane smiling from the corner of his eyes, but decided to just let it be. It was already difficult to be stuck with him for two months now. "I've always wanted to go to Ireland. But now that we're here... it's not as I had imagined..."

Jane nodded. He was starting to live with it, with the whole Lisbon disappeared ordeal. But he still felt a big gaping hole in his heart where Lisbon should have been. He found most comfort in the fact of knowing she wasn't dead.

Looking for Lisbon was almost like looking for Red John – every time they got closer, they would lose her out of sight and she would be gone again. Like the trace they had been following had vanished. It was driving him insane.

He went to sleep while torturing himself, mentally – he pictured how Lisbon would look like now. If he was still as good in math as he was when he was younger, she would be four months pregnant now and definitely showing – but she probably chose to hide it with baggy clothes. He had trouble imagining her with a beautiful baby bump, since Teresa Lisbon was the person he would expect it the least from to become pregnant – if he hadn't known how long they'd been sleeping together, that was. It was a miracle it didn't happen a few months sooner, with the rate at which they had been going.

He would picture her and her swollen belly, before pulling in a pillow and cuddling it like it was Lisbon – but it never was, of course. And that, in itself, was the whole problem. Because he could imagine all he wanted, but she wasn't going to be real for now.

He was frustrated as hell. Before they started sleeping together, he had trouble imagining her next to him in bed – not that he didn't _want_ to imagine it, because he had wanted to – but now, he had trouble imagining what his life would be like without her. He would definitely kill himself. Maybe Red John in the process as well.

He wanted to share in the happiness of Lisbon's pregnancy... he wanted to kiss her swollen belly and promise her stuff he knew he couldn't give her. Not yet anyways.

"Jane?" Van Pelt said, gently, pulling him out of his reverie. He almost shook his head to clear his mind.

"Hmm?"

"Your phone's ringing."

Just like two months ago at the airport in the US, he quickly and frantically worked on answering it. His heart filled with hope.

"Patrick?" a person with a heavy Irish accent said, and Jane cursed. Dammit, no Lisbon. He sighed.  
"Yeah, hi."

"She's not in Ireland anymore."

Jane froze. "What do you mean?"

"Redmond's got a few shams in England and according to them, they saw Teresa a few days ago-"

"Where in England?"

"Brixham, South Devon."

-YulianaHenderson-

Lisbon groaned loudly, not caring if anybody around her looked at her with raised eyebrows. She frustratingly placed her head on the table in front of her, almost banging it against it, but she knew that wouldn't help.

She was in a freaking far-away corner of England and still she knew Jane would find her. She didn't want this to become their future, but she didn't know something else to do either.  
It wasn't that she didn't want to see Jane. The bigger her belly grew, the more she wanted to be with him. There was now a constant ache in her heart that wouldn't go away. Like an itch.  
She chuckled humorlessly. Jane had always been an itch, excessive scratching wouldn't relieve her of it. Even if she would sever her limbs from her body, she would still feel it.

She faintly brushed her swollen belly, like she always did when she thought about Jane. After all, he was the cause of that belly.

She lifted her head hesitantly and was immediately met with piercing brown eyes.

"Hello Teresa."

She instantly felt panic swell inside her. She wanted to look around to check for possible exits, before the man to which the brown eyes belonged spoke again.

"Ye've grown, young lady. And not only in length," he joked, a faint Scottish accent evident – or maybe she didn't hear the accent anymore and was getting used to it? – his eyes flickering to her belly. She frowned.

"Do I know you?"

The man hesitated, before shaking his head. "Probably not. But _I_ would remember a Lisbon anywhere."

Then, it made sense. He wasn't there to hurt her – he just recognized her because of her dad.

"I've held ye when ye were a baby, Teresa," the man said, sighing slightly at the memory. Lisbon took the opportunity to look the man over.

He looked to be in his mid-seventies, his grey hair becoming almost white in the light sunshine. The sea wind blew a little curl out of his face.

"Ron Taylor," he said, reaching out his hand. Lisbon stared at it for a few seconds, and she saw she'd upset him when he nodded sadly and was about to pull his hand back. Lisbon quickly reached out and shook it.

The man smiled again – he looked like he was a wonderful man.

"Yer father and I were friends before he moved to the United States. Still haven't the foggiest _why_... oh well, must have been that beautiful girlfriend Brianna of his. Ye look a lot like her, if I might say so."  
Lisbon smiled. She liked being compared to her mother – it was better than being compared to a piece of shit who called himself a 'father'.

"Now tell me, Teresa. What are ye doing at this side of the ocean? I figured ye'd grown up there."

"I did. It's... a long story, really."

Ron looked at her belly again. "Kid's daddy here as well?"

She swallowed, and looked at her hands which were now located in her lap.

"Kinda..."

"What does that mean, Teresa?"

"It means... it's a long story."

"I've got time."

She groaned. "I don't really feel like telling it."

Ron nodded. "Fair enough. How far along are ye?"

"Four months."

"Are ye planning on staying here without the father until the birth?"

She shook her head, and involuntarily put a hand on her belly.

Ron shook his head, sighing.

"I never understood Lisbons. Well then. Now that ye're eating for two, can I treat you on some Fish & Chips? Most restaurants sell it but I know the best shop in town," he said, adding a little wink, and Lisbon rolled her eyes. She nodded, though. Maybe it were the pregnancy hormones, the gigantic pirate ship in the haven, or the smell of the sea, but sea food sounded like the perfect dinner now. And she didn't even like fish before her pregnancy.

"Sounds great."

**A/N: *Warning, long Author's Note after this. Just saying.***

**I've been to Brixham, yay! For two weeks! At my first Fish&Chips there! ^^ So I know my way around there, yeah, you could say that. Anyways, sorry for the people who haven't been there. I won't go into much details, it's just going to be like them visiting Ireland. I just wanted them all to go to a place abroad where I've actually **_**been**_**. Because that's more fun, imo. And yes, I know it's officially just Devon, not North/South Devon, but informally, people do call it South Devon. Just because of the two coasts. (I don't know much of Brixham anymore, though... I know that around the area, there's this town called Cockington. I remember laughing my ass off because of that name... And my parents didn't get the joke. Tsk tsk, so innocent.)**

**And I'm not really sure about the Scottish accent of Ron. I have a teacher who is Scottish and her accent annoys the crap out of me. **_**We**_** are supposed to be speaking proper BBC English and she just gets away with swallowing words and speaking in an annoying accent (no offense for the Scottish people out there). It's not fair. But anyways... For me, recognizing a Scottish accent is the easiest, compared to recognizing British/Irish/Australian accents blablabla... and of course, an American accent is pretty easy as well. But if you have trouble imagining a Scottish accent, listen to interviews of, say, Robert Carlyle (Rumplestiltskin in ONCE), because he is Scottish. It's a great accent, but only to hear it on screen and not in real life while you're trying really hard to put on a good American accent, which is **_**difficult**_** for a non-Native, trust me.**

**Anyways, leave a REVIEW, it's appreciated! ^^**


	7. Chapter Seven

**A/N: I'm disappointed. That's all I can say now. I really am. I work so hard on producing this story and you just abandon it. It's saddening, to say the least.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

**_'I need you'_**

"Have you seen this woman around here?" Jane asked the bored-looking woman behind the counter. She stared at him for a few seconds, chewing her chewing-gum arrogantly, before rolling her eyes and taking the picture from him. She looked at the picture, then nodded.

"Yeah, I saw her. Last time I checked, she was at Ron Taylor's."

"Can you give us his address?"

"Sure." She rolled her desk chair over to the other side of the desk and started typing some things, before printing the address and handing it over to him. "There ya go."

"Thanks. Uh... Little question... was she pregnant?"

The young woman didn't even look surprised. She nodded. "Yeah. Not much, I would estimate her in her fifth or sixth month or something, with that rounded belly of hers."

Jane looked at Van Pelt behind him, who just nodded, and Jane nodded at the woman.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Jane and Van Pelt walked outside, eyes blinded by the big contrast of light – inside, it had been dark. Outside, the sun was doing her best at attempting to warm the little town. Jane inhaled the fresh air, and then sighed contently. He rubbed his hands against each other, and then nodded.

"So she's here," Van Pelt said, and he nodded too.

"It seems so. I wonder how long that's going to be though."

As soon as they got to the address the young lady had given them, Jane shook his head. "She's not here. I can feel it."

Van Pelt rolled her eyes. She didn't like it when he pretended to be a psychic.

Soon enough, the door of the house opened and an old man stepped outside. "Ye must be Patrick Jane."

Jane frowned, and nodded. "I'm Ron Taylor. Come inside!" The man waved for Van Pelt and Jane to come inside, and they did. When they were inside, he showed them the kitchen table and they sat down.

"Now, do I need to pour ye two some tea?"

Jane smiled at Van Pelt, who just rolled her eyes again. "Tea sounds great, thank you."

Ron worked on preparing some tea, while at the same time talking to them. "When young Teresa told me ye were coming, I thought she was joking. But here y'are, Mr. Jane. I do have to admit that our Teresa has some taste in men." Ron chuckled, and the tea kettle whistled. He poured the tea into three cups, and Jane instantly stood.

"Let me help you," he said, and carried his and Van Pelt's cup with him to the table.

"Oh, what a gentleman." Ron walked over to the table as well, his cup in his hands, and sat down.

"What can you tell us about Teresa?" Jane asked. Ron shrugged.  
"She looks good. Being pregnant does her good. She's happy – but not the most happiest woman on the world. Obviously." When Jane frowned, Ron sighed. "Y'are not here, Mr. Jane. Ye might think she's running away from ye but she isn't."

"No, I know that by now."

"She wouldn't just run away from _you_, because y'are the best thing that happened to her – except for meeting me, of course." He winked at Van Pelt, then poured some milk into his tea. "I told Teresa to stop running, don't worry. But she's so, so stubborn. Much like her father. Must be the Irish temperament." He softly blew into the cup, and then took a sip. "She's a goner though. I don't think I've ever seen anyone as in love as she is." He sighed, and put down the tea cup. "It's a shame. Such a shame. Oh well."

He stood up, leaning on the table as he did, and walked over to the kitchen. He got something from the counter, smiled at it and walked back to the kitchen table. He handed Jane whatever he had retrieved, and the latter immediately looked at it. It was a picture, and he felt love grow inside him instantly as he saw of whom the picture was.

It featured Lisbon, standing between flowers and a hand on her belly. She was indeed pregnant. He now had his prove.

"Where was this photo taken?"

"Outside. She asked me to take it and give it to ye. I still have no idea how she got it from the camera to that piece of paper. Must be magic of some sort."

Van Pelt chuckled at the cuteness of the man, but stopped when she saw Jane's pained expression.

Jane softly brushed the picture with his thumb. "She looks beautiful."

"Isn't she beautiful already?" Van Pelt asked.

"Don't give a different meaning to my words, Grace. Of course she is. She always was."

He looked at his little pixie again. How he longed to hold her in his arms again, just looking at her as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Ye'll find her-"

"Yes, everybody keeps telling me that but it's been two months since I'm in Europe and I still don't have her, now have I? I don't even know what she smells like anymore." Which was a lie. Of course he knew what she smelled like. He would never forget it. It was so unique that it just had to be Lisbon.

"Who told ye that she still loves ye?"

"Redmond and Fianna. Her aunt and uncle."

"Ah. Them. The _Irish_. Okay, well. They're right, of course. But it's true, Mr. Jane. Ye'll find her. If not, she'll find _you_."

Jane placed a small kiss on the picture, then put it in his vest pocket, together with the cross Fianna had given him. Lisbon was leaving a trail, but she wasn't stupid. She knew he would come after her, and she knew he would destroy her trail eventually. She was so smart, his Lisbon. If she would only be so smart to stay where she was and not leave the entire time.

Ron had finished his tea in the meantime, and now was looking at Van Pelt. "Now, young lady, who may ye be?"

Van Pelt smiled, and reached out her hand. "Grace van Pelt. I'm one of... Teresa's colleagues-"

"She's Teresa's best friend," Jane interrupted, and sipped at his tea cup. Van Pelt shot him a look, but Ron just smiled.

"Of course y'are. Yer have the same strength as Teresa has. I can see y'adore her."

"Oh god, are you going to do the same thing Jane does?"

"Which is?"

"Cold reading people."

Ron looked at Jane, who just smiled. He shrugged then. "It's what I do."

Ron frowned, and looked from Jane to Van Pelt and then back again. "I'm missing something here. But that's okay. The point is that Teresa isn't in England anymore."

"Oh God, no," Van Pelt murmured, and as Jane cursed under his breath, she knew she wasn't going to like what he was going to do.

"Dammit. Where is she?"

"Look, Mr. Jane, I get that ye want to find Teresa. I completely understand that. But it's not good for neither Teresa nor the baby. She has to stay at one place, and ye know that."

"But I want to be with her-"

"I'm not gonna say where she is, Mr. Jane. It's not gonna happen. So ye'd better go back to the US."

"I'm not going anywhere until I can speak to Teresa!"

"Well then you're gonna have to stay here, 'cause I'm not saying anything."

"Dammit!" Jane hit the table hard and jumped up. He frustratingly ran a hand through his hair, turning his back on the two present.

He stood like that for a lot of minutes, and Van Pelt was actually growing worried.  
When he turned back, he was crying. "I only want to talk to her. I want to tell her that I love her."

"Maybe it's best we go," Van Pelt said, and placed a hand on his shoulder. She'd expected him to put up a fight, but he gave in. She knew he wasn't aggressive and so it would have been shocking if he'd used violence. But that didn't mean he wasn't capable of doing it, and she didn't want such a cute man as Ron to be hurt, or worse, killed, by Patrick Jane. After all, he was now her responsibility.

Van Pelt wondered how Lisbon managed to take care of Jane.

Jane nodded. "Just... if she contacts you in any way, tell her that I love her. I need her to know that. I abandoned her ever since we started working together, I can't do it again now that she's pregnant of our child. She watched out for me all the time and I want to do the same thing now that I'm ready to do so. I can't take care of myself anymore. Just... just tell her that."

Ron knew nothing to say, and Jane was about to walk out, when Ron stopped him.

"Wait."

Jane turned towards him, his feelings showing a bit more than usual, and Ron sighed. "She's in Amsterdam. But promise me you won't go looking for her. She needs time, Mr. Jane. Promise me."

Jane clenched his fists. How was he supposed to say 'I promise' now? That would mean he had to stop his search for her, and they all knew how bad he was in quitting searches.

He groaned. He had to think about what Lisbon wanted now. He had to stop being selfish and give her space. He knew she loved him, she wouldn't just walk out on him. And especially not since she was carrying his child.

He sighed, and nodded. "I promise."

Van Pelt stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. "What? Are you just going to give up? That's not you!"

"But it's not about me. It's not about the baby – okay, maybe a bit. But it's mostly about Teresa now. I don't care if it's not how I would react. I want her to be happy, whether that's with me or not. She's done so much for me already and I want to pay her back somehow. If that means she needs space, then I'll grand it to her. It's not going to make me happy, you didn't hear me say that. But whenever she's happy, I'm happy. She needs to be able to make the right decisions for both the baby and her. If I'm going to chase her everywhere, she's only going to think of new ways to avoid me. I need to stop my search, for now. I'm not going to quit entirely. I'll come back to look for her in a few months, when I know she's almost due. Maybe she's coming back then. For now, I'm going to give her what she wants and we're going back to Sacramento."

Van Pelt swallowed, then gently grabbed his wrist. "Fine. We're going back."

* * *

**A/N: Tadaaa. I go to school in Amsterdam, obviously. That's why it's obvious that I want her to go to Amsterdam, duh. But yeah... It's not like I completely love Amsterdam but it's the only big city I really know – except for London, but I've only been there twice, so that doesn't count. I'm in Amsterdam like every day. I completely know my way around.  
**

**And so Jane and Van Pelt go back to the US... I know this is not what people wanted but Jane has to be reminded of the fact that Lisbon does what she wants... Oh, and next chapter will be the third to last chapter. Just so you're warned.**

**Anyways, leave me a review, please. Do it this time. I know that this story isn't the best one being written now, especially not since 'The Best Mistake' and 'The Devil You Know' are much better, but you could at least give me a bit of honor and say that you still appreciate my effort on this. I'm serious, I got no reviews at all for the previous chapter and it makes me cry.**


	8. Chapter Eight

**A/N: *facepalm* I thought I had learned my lesson a long time ago when I gave my own readers flames, but apparently, I didn't. Okay, there's no explanation for my behavior in the previous chapter's Author's Note, only that I'm really sorry for it. I shouldn't have reacted like that, but I was so frustrated with everything, not only the lack of the reviews. I guess that that was just the last straw and I just was angry but I should've walked through my room to calm down for a bit, which I didn't. I'll never be perfect, but I hope you'll be able to forgive me. I can understand if you won't.**

**(Oh and in response to Ruby: My long Author's Notes are something I've been doing ever since I started writing for FanFiction. It's kinda my trademark by now. I don't spend a longer time on writing my Author's Notes, believe me.)**

**Seriously though, guys, your reviews made me realize this all. There's really no use in insulting you because you are amazing, and you've always been. I'm just a bit insecure even though I say I'm not, and seeing as I got no reviews, I was wondering whether you didn't like this story anymore. But no, you still do! 11 reviews, bang on! Thanks so much!**

**Sorry for the massive leap in time here, but I kinda... dunno, wanted to get it over with? I'm extremely bad in writing long multi-chapters, the longest I've written was 26 and I'm completely stuck on that one right now ('Child's Play'). Anyways... Yeah, you'll get your fluff eventually, just have faith and patience. But I can't stretch it much longer.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine! Sadly! No, not sadly, actually. I wouldn't have a life then - not that I have one now. Oh well.**

* * *

**_'I need you'_**

_Four months later_

Jane laid on his couch. His couch. He had never thought he loved any object as much as he loved this couch. It wasn't the same without Lisbon, though.

He could still remember laying on his couch together. Especially when they'd just started sleeping together. They had had to be as close as physically possible, and so they had almost melted into each other on his leather couch.

He let out a shuddering breath. He would be lying if he said that he didn't want to do that again. Basically because of what followed.

They would most times lay for a few minutes, before the longing and lust became too much and eventually they would end up exhausted on the couch after a few rounds of passionate lovemaking – though he liked doing that more at home, because then he was actually able to hold a naked Lisbon to him for the entire night and he wouldn't have to worry about the team dropping in earlier and finding them in such a position. Lisbon would shoot him on the spot if that ever were to happen.

If Lisbon decided not to come back, he would accept it. He wouldn't be happy, not at all, but he would accept it. He would _try_ to live with it completely – though he could already predict that he was going to fail miserably in that.

Rigsby and Van Pelt were casting worried glances at him, and he'd had enough of it.

"Just tell me the bad news. I can take it."

Both groaned, before Van Pelt decided to just cut to the chase. She walked over to him and placed a picture in his lap.

He frowned, and looked at it. His breath caught in his throat when he saw what was on the picture.

"When was this?" he asked, and Van Pelt sighed.

"A few hours ago."

"Where?"

"You're not going to like this."

"Don't say Amsterdam."

Van Pelt paused. "Amsterdam."

"Dammit." As if on cue, his phone buzzed on his desk, and he flew to it.

He didn't even check the caller ID, he knew who it was.  
"Patrick, I'm fine," Lisbon immediately said as soon as Jane answered the phone. "Look, don't talk, just listen. I know how bad this is. I know that my plan is completely failing. But I've got no other option."

"Teresa, he knows you're there."

"I know that. Just because I don't speak Dutch doesn't mean I don't know what's going on around me."

"How are you?"

He heard Lisbon sighing. "You mean, despite the fact that a woman around my age, with green eyes and brown hair and just as pregnant as I am was killed and left in a house under a red smiley face? Oh, I guess I'm doing fine."

"Teresa, if you just tell me where you are-"

"It won't matter anyways."

"Okay, let me ask a different question then: how is the baby?"

He heard a pause, then a sigh again. "She's fine-"

"_She_?"

"Yes, she. We're getting a daughter."

Jane closed his eyes, and took in a deep breath. He had never thought it would feel like this.  
Ever since his little girl had passed away, he knew he wouldn't want a daughter again. It would hurt too much, he wouldn't be able to handle it, he was sure.

But now... he felt tears burning in his eyes, and he knew he wasn't sad or hurt. He felt... happy.

"Patrick?"

He took in a deep and quick breath. "I love you," he whispered, and when he heard nothing at the other side, he started to worry.

He wiped at his eyes and rid them of his tears.

"I love you too," Lisbon replied, and Jane almost kicked the couch. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, relieve any pains she was feeling because of her pregnancy.

"I'm going to Amsterdam, and you're not going anywhere. We're doing this together, Teresa. You can back out any time you want, _after_ the birth. You may think like it's not such a big thing but I want to be there, Teresa. I want to help in any way I can, because I care about you, and because I love you."

"But I-"

"No, Teresa. There are no buts. I'm coming for you."

He heard a pause again. "I expect nothing less."

Jane took in a shuddering breath, then smiled. "Love you."

-YulianaHenderson-

"I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. I demand to be paid back for this because seriously, Jane. I could be having a social life now," Van Pelt hissed. She angrily took her suitcase of the assembly-belt and stormed away. Jane smiled, took off his suitcase as well and skipped after her.  
"Oh, Grace, you volunteered for it-"

"Yeah, to go to Ireland! Not to go to The Netherlands!"

"What's wrong with The Netherlands?"

"Nothing! I just don't like to be dragged with."

"You're not dragged with. You're here to prevent me from doing stupid things."

"I'm too late for that," she murmured. She then took her phone out of her handbag and looked up travel directions. "Okay, so we have to get to the train station now. You think you can help me or will you let me do everything?"

Jane smiled, and shrugged. "Pretty much."

Van Pelt groaned, and shoved him roughly, causing his suitcase to fall onto the floor. He just chuckled, and watched as she stormed away once again. He just smiled at the other tourists. He picked up his suitcase and watched over at Van Pelt, who was looking at the big boards to see how they had to go.

Jane gently grabbed hold of her elbow as soon as he stood beside her, and pulled her with him. Van Pelt violently tried to shrug him off, but failed. She cursed – despite her being a cop, and he a mere consultant, Jane was still stronger than she was.

"There's a big sign there that suggests we go downstairs," Jane said dryly, pointing at a board, and Van Pelt almost blushed.  
"Ah, yes. Of course." She walked off, again not waiting for Jane, and he smiled.

He felt great now, knowing that he finally had the chance to actually look for Lisbon, knowing she was in town and would stay there. Not that she had much of a chance, he figured her belly prevented her from doing anything useful these days. It hurt him to not know it for sure.

When they stood on the platform, Van Pelt was suddenly very quiet. The entire flight to here, they had talked about random, irrelevant things. But now, she just stood there, occasionally looking at him and then looking away when she noticed his eyes on her.

Jane rolled his eyes. "What's bothering you, Grace dear?"

"Nothing. It's just... I never figured you and Lisbon would be in this kind of situation."

"Why is that?"

"Because a, I never thought Lisbon would actually leave you behind with us. I thought she would stay with you. B, I never thought you would actually travel all the way to Europe to find her again. C, I never thought you would have sex in the first place!" She realized what she'd just said, and swung her hand in front of her mouth. "Oh my god, I mean, oh god! I wanted it, oh, no I didn't, but, uhm, you know, but no, oh god. I didn't mean it to sound like that. So blunt."

Jane chuckled. "It's okay, Grace. It really is."

Van Pelt let out a sigh of relief when she saw the train approaching, and Jane smiled once again. He would torture her with awkward talks later on. Now was not the time.

-YulianaHenderson-

Jane smiled like a fool when he and Van Pelt walked into the hotel room – with two separate bedrooms – and he immediately ran over to the curtains to check the view.

When he opened them though, he pouted. "I thought the view in Sacramento was bad. Just look at this. We're basically looking at another building."

"It's Amsterdam, Jane. Not Sacramento."

"I know."

He fell face-forward onto the bed, and got the picture of Lisbon out of his vest pocket. It was some sort of habit now, he always did that when he got into bed, even if he wasn't going to sleep just yet.

He kissed the picture, and put it back in his pocket.

He got up. He still had his woman to search for.

_One week later_

"I can't believe it. I really can't believe it. I let you bring me with you through the entire city but so far without luck. I'm serious. I thought Lisbon told you she would be here?"

"Amsterdam is big-"

"Not for an American woman who is more than eight months pregnant. It's not like she can do a lot now. I bet she wants to, but she can't."

Jane looked at the vegetables on sale in upmost concentration. Van Pelt rolled her eyes.

"You really want discounts, don't you?"

"Of course. I may have a lot of money in the US but I don't want to change all of it to Euros. I'm just careful."

"Whatever."

"Grace, it's a lot of money. If people steal it, we might not be able to get back home."

"You're not the only one who gets paid here, you know. I'm an adult too."

Jane smiled, causing Van Pelt to roll her eyes again.

They worked their own way through the supermarket individually and in silence, and met at the checkout. Jane smiled at Van Pelt.

"What've you got?" she asked, and Jane looked in the basket.

"Vegetables."

"That's general."

"I don't know Dutch okay, I don't know what I have."

"You can't recognize vegetables?"

"Do I look like the person to cook?"

She chuckled. "No, I guess not." She went quiet again, before she turned towards Jane, frowning.

"Seriously? You never cooked?"

"No. I would go to a restaurant most times, or the cafeteria downstairs at the CBI. I do admit that I cooked sometimes when I was at Teresa's house, but she most times took over from me because she was afraid I would burn down her kitchen."

Van Pelt laughed. "I can see where she's coming from," she deadpanned.

Jane merely flashed her his 1000-watt smile. "Be happy you don't have to put up with my cooking abilities."

"I am glad, believe me," she said, smiling. She turned around and Jane smiled again, but when she dropped everything she was holding, he froze.

"What? What's wro-"

He too almost dropped his stuff when he saw what had shocked her.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, it's not such a surprise who is there anymore, is it? Mhuahahahaha! ^^**

**Anyways, I'm speeding along this story a bit, since I have another fic begging to be published as well so you're going to get more regular updates of this fic now. But I'm not posting all the chapters at the same time, don't worry. I'm still stretching it out a bit ^^**

**I wanted to put my standard 'leave me a review' here, but a certain reviewer made me realize it can come across as pleading for reviews (which I'm not doing but you can't see my meaning behind the words) so I won't do that anymore. I would very much appreciate it to get feedback and to hear what you think about it because that's what can make me a better writer and that would be profitable for you, right? ^^**


	9. Chapter Nine

**A/N: This is where it gets a bit strange. Seriously though, just saying. So if you didn't already think this was a strange story, you might as well start doing that now.**

**I finally managed to make a cover photo for this story! I know, we're almost at the end but still, I think it kind of succeeded. I kinda like the result.**

**And I heard of the news in Connecticut. I was so shocked! My thoughts are with everybody that has lost somebody there, even though there's a sea between us I can still mentally support you. I hope all the people there will find someone that will help them cope. It's so sad... Stay strong! **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

**_'I need you'_**

"Oh my god," Van Pelt breathed. Jane quickly put the basket on the cash register, not caring that the woman behind it was already scolding him.

At the very right check-out, a certain brown-haired woman was standing. She was wearing casual clothes, the kind of clothes that she wouldn't wear most times because it was _too_ casual. But judging from her baby bump, she couldn't fit into her jeans anymore.

The baby bump... the baby bump he hadn't gotten to see since it had formed.

He walked away from Van Pelt and he got tears in his eyes.  
"Teresa," he breathed, and Lisbon turned around. She startled at seeing him, but immediately, guilt filled her eyes in the form of tears.

"Patrick," she whispered, just as low as he had done, and he saw her hand subconsciously went to her belly.

Jane was speechless. For seven months, he had went over what he would tell her when he would find her. He would first scold her for being so reckless but then he would tell her how much he loves her and do all the stupid things soon-to-be-daddies would do when their girlfriend was pregnant.

But all that he had come up with was gone. He didn't know what to do anymore. Maybe it was her belly, maybe it was her expression, but all thoughts were ripped away from his mind.

The only thing he could think of doing was stepping closer and carefully placing a hand on her belly, feeling butterflies in his stomach as he did so.  
She didn't say anything, just looked at him from these beautiful green orbs of hers. Then, she raised her hand and when thought she was going to brush his cheek, he couldn't be more wrong.

She slapped his cheek instead, not actually punching him but enough to leave pain. Jane winched and clutched the burning skin.  
"Can't you ever listen to me, huh? Not even after all that we've been through? You can't just give me what _I_ want?"

Jane swallowed. "Teresa, calm down-"

"No, I'm not calming down, do _not_ tell me to calm down. I asked you, _begged_ you, to give me some space but here you are. I just can't believe you-"

Jane cut her off by pulling her close and linking their lips. She didn't flinch away, instead melted in his arms and when he pulled away, she sighed.

"I missed you," she whispered, and moved herself closer to him, her belly pressing into his stomach. He drew a shuddering breath – how much he had wanted to feel just that the past months.

"Teresa, I-"

Jane was stopped by a dark chuckle. Jane turned to look at who was looking at them, and instinctively pulled Lisbon close to him again when he saw the man that had been chuckling was holding a gun.

People around them started screaming, but neither of the three said anything.

The man's eyes flickered to Lisbon's swollen belly, and the way Jane was holding her by her what used to be curvy waist, and smiled even wider.

"Well, well. If it aren't the love birds. I'm glad you found each other, I was wondering how long it was going to take."

Jane didn't reply, only tightened his grip on Lisbon. She winched, and Jane loosened his grip again, but not letting her go. She grabbed his hand but he didn't think anything of it.

"I must say, watching all of this was way better than watching a movie. Seems like true love does find its way in the end." The man sighed exaggeratingly. "It's going to be a shame losing you, Patrick. You were such a great friend."

"We were never friends."

"Course not. You didn't consider me a friend. And you have all right to. But look at it from another perspective: I did you a favor, didn't I? Taking Angela and Charlotte from you?"

"How is that a good thing?"

The man shrugged. "Okay, so maybe it's not a good thing for you. But I do think it's a good thing. Just look at Teresa, Patrick. Isn't she better than Angela-"

"They're equal."

The man sighed exaggeratingly again, swinging his gun a bit. The police had to be on its way now, Jane thought. If the Dutch watched enough crime shows they would know what to do.

"Patrick," Lisbon whispered, and Jane let his hand rest on her belly for a few seconds – instantly feeling happy as he did so. He had waited for months to do that, and now he could finally do it. He didn't reply to her whisper, though.

"Would Angela and Charlotte approve of this, Patrick? Would they like it if they found out that you moved on from them?"

"They wouldn't want him to stay lonely for the rest of his life," Lisbon hissed. The man chuckled.

"Ah. It's good to see you haven't lost your fierce because of this, Teresa. I was wondering whether you would become different, but you're still the same. See, Patrick? This is why I think it's a good and justifiable thing that I took Angela and Charlotte away from you – Teresa is much better."

"Shut up," Jane snapped.

"Hey, Patrick. I don't know how much you know Teresa, but-"

"I know her well enough. It's not for you to decide whether I know her or not."

The man smiled. "Sure. Of course. I just wanted to say that you should pay a tiny bit more attention to her."

Jane frowned, but when Lisbon grabbed his arm almost forcefully, he looked down. He saw her face was showing pain, not much but just enough for him to see.

"What's wrong?" he asked, gently, and she shook her head.

"It's nothing. It's... it's nothing." Jane knew he wouldn't get much out of her now, she wouldn't admit what was really wrong, but when he was about to turn back to the man he considered his mortal enemy, his eyes widened.  
"Oh god, is the baby coming?" he asked, and Lisbon's eyes widened. She shook her head, but winched in pain again. He completely dismissed Red John, and turned to Lisbon, grabbing both her hands.

"Tell me what you're feeling, Teresa."

She shook her head. "It's nothing-"

"You have to stop doing that, Teresa. What are you feeling?"

"A pressure. It's... pain-ish. Uncomfortable."

"Where?"

She pointed to her lower back.  
"Oh great. Such great planning," he murmured, and frantically scanned the shop for Van Pelt. The younger woman was just standing there, her eyes wide at what was happening now in front of her. When their eyes crossed, she started to move again. She almost ran over to Red John, ready to act all cop-ish on him, but he didn't resist.

"You can arrest me, agent. Though I think that's going to be a problem since... oh, there's no jurisdiction here for the CBI. And you don't have your handcuffs or gun with you, I see. Such a shame. Such, such a shame. Tsk tsk-"

Jane cut him off by punching him in the nose.  
"Patrick, no!" Lisbon exclaimed, and Jane froze as he realized what he'd just done. But he quickly shrugged it off, realizing he didn't have time to apologize to Red John and not having the willpower to do so either. The man should be glad Jane didn't rip him apart with his bare hands.

Jane returned to Lisbon, and he pulled her to him, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"What's the emergency number here?"

"112," Lisbon said softly, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "Look, I'm sorry, Patrick. I'm really so-"

"It's okay, Teresa. Don't you think that that is least of your problems now? Just keep breathing."

Jane looked over at Van Pelt, who awkwardly stood next to Red John. She knew the man had been right, she couldn't arrest him here. The only thing she could do was wait for the Dutch police to come and arrest him – after all, she knew that it was illegal to carry a gun with you in The Netherlands if you didn't have a permit for it, and she hadn't been sure if her American permit had been valid here so she hadn't tried.

She was looking at him from the corner of her eyes, watching him, silently telling him that if he even thought about moving a muscle, she would try out the Marshall arts she hadn't used in years on him.

Lisbon gently kissed the skin in Jane's neck, pushing her body as close as she could come with her belly between them.

"Calm down, Teresa. I will be there for you. I will always be there for you. We need each other."

"But I left you. For almost my entire pregnancy."

"I know."

"I hate myself for it."

"I know."

"And I don't deserve it that you're so sweet."

"Teresa, look at me," Jane whispered, and Lisbon looked up. He saw she was scared, which was a usual trade of her by now – which he didn't consider a good turn of events but he had to accept it for now - yet this had a different reason. She obviously hadn't thought about the possibility of suddenly giving birth while in a foreign country. He had to say she was lucky he had found her just in time – but maybe the baby wanted to wait until he was finally here.

"You've given me eight great years, looking after me whenever you could. You're a saint. And if there is anyone who doesn't deserve someone, it's me. I betrayed your trust, I hurt your feelings. I'm a jerk. I'm surprised you still want something to do with me."

"Don't be silly," she said, and grabbed his shirt. "I've waited for this moment for months."

Jane groaned. "Okay. This is taking too long. Where's your car?"

-YulianaHenderson-

"So... you were almost coming back to the US when you suddenly found her in a supermarket somewhere in Amsterdam?"

"Yes. I know, it sounds crazy, but I swear to god. It was in such a Jane and Lisbon style that they should make a movie out of it. Seriously. I don't think I've ever seen something as strange as that."

"And you're not talking about the fact that you saw Lisbon going into labor."

"No, of course not. The whole combination of Lisbon going into labor and Red John showing up to possibly ruin their happiness..."

It was silent for a while, until Rigsby spoke again. "I seriously had given up hope of them finding each other again."

"Yeah, me too."

Rigsby sighed. "How long has she been in labor now?"

"Six hours, I guess. Officially. It was a bit of a mess when we arrived at the hospital. Since we're not Dutch, they made a big deal out of accepting Lisbon."

"Let me guess: Jane bribed them."

"Kinda. We could've arranged something by making a few phone calls with our insurance in the States but according to Jane, that took too long. So yeah, he basically bribed them. I still don't know if they only accepted to get rid of him or really accepted the bribe itself."

Rigsby chuckled. "That man knows no boundaries."

"Well, I get him, actually. I mean, I've seen some women going into labor but seeing Lisbon like that... just imagine how it felt like for him, after not having seen her for like seven months."

"Yeah, I guess... And Jane's with her?"

"Where else would he be?"

"True, true."

Van Pelt sighed, and looked at the clock hanging on the wall. She gasped.  
"Oh my god! Oh my god, the time zones! It's night there! Oh, I'm so sorry-"

"Grace, stop it. I get it. I'm glad you called. Cho and I weren't able to get to home. We already had a feeling that something was happening over there – don't ask me how."

Van Pelt chuckled. She then cringed when she heard a loud scream, louder than the previous ones, and she almost left the hall-way to go stand outside, and she shifted in her seat. She almost felt the pain herself.

"Is it really worth it? So much pain, for a baby?"

"It is worth it, Grace. I'm sorry, but you can't say anything about that. It's beautiful to have a child."

"I know... I guess I'll never know how it feels like."

"That's what Lisbon said for ages."

Van Pelt smiled. "I know."

"Hey, you two," Van Pelt heard Cho said, sounding like from a far distance.  
"Sorry," Rigsby and Van Pelt said in unison.

Van Pelt sighed again, and leant her head back against the wall. They were all nervous, she could hear it in Rigsby's voice and her breathing – to be honest, she even heard a slight nervousness in Cho's voice, even though he only said three words. She knew what his voice sounded like, it was different now.

It was rational that they were nervous. Lisbon was their surrogate mother, she was the woman who looked after them and cared about them. And they, in return, cared about her as well.

And Jane... yeah, well, Jane was Jane.

Van Pelt shot up when the screams vanished. She looked at the door, waiting for someone to exit it, but it took ages – it were really nine minutes, but it felt like ages for her – before someone came up to her.

"I gotta go guys, I'll keep you posted."

"Grace van Pelt?" the nurse asked, and Van Pelt nodded. The nurse simply waved for her to step inside the delivery room, and she instantly got tears in her eyes when she saw Jane and Lisbon smiling like complete fools, Lisbon holding a little ball of human in her hands.

It didn't look like they were acting any different, so their equal love for each other and their baby overcame the problems of the past seven months. There would probably be arguments yet to come, but that was to be expected.

Van Pelt noticed that Jane's right hand kept switching between the baby and Lisbon, while the left one was placed on Lisbon's left shoulder so he almost completely embraced her. And Lisbon was holding their baby in her hands like she was a precious, beautiful little vase, but cradling her to her chest anyways.

They both looked up when Van pelt coughed subtly.

"Hey," Lisbon said, her voice hoarse. Van Pelt hadn't missed the tears that were streaming down the woman's face. The younger agent swallowed down the lump in her throat. It wasn't possible.

Jane waved for her to come closer, and she did.

"Oh my god, she's beautiful," Van Pelt whispered.

"Just like her mother."

"Oh god," Lisbon murmured.

"No, I'm serious. She looks like her mother."

Jane brushed her cheek, and she rolled her eyes. He planted a small kiss on her lips.

"I'm glad we found you," Van Pelt said, not taking her eyes off the little baby.

"Yeah, me too," Lisbon whispered. It was obvious she still didn't trust her voice, either because of it being hoarse or because she was about to cry. "Now that I'm with Jane again, I don't get how I could leave."

"Well, you're forgiven, my dear."

"Of course I am."

"What? You would think I would never forgive you? I think we're square now."

"Because of Vegas?"

Jane nodded. "Because of Vegas."

Van Pelt rolled her eyes, though she was glad she saw the two like this again.

"Do you have a name for her already?"

The two exchanged a few looks, before Jane nodded to Lisbon. She in turn looked down at her daughter.

"Jane doesn't agree with it," she started, and Van Pelt already saw Jane rolling his eyes. He let her finish, though. "Jessica Charlotte."

Van Pelt smiled. "I'll leave you two alone."

Before Jane and Lisbon could say anything, she left the delivery room, wiping at her eyes. She knew it sounded completely ridiculous and cliché, but she felt like her older sister had just found her happiness.

She got her phone out of her pocket and dialed the guys' number.

When they picked up, she gave them no time to say anything.

Instead, she said the only important thing. "Jessica Charlotte." She heard an applause at the other end, but she got another call. She apologized to the guys and answered the other call.

"Agent van Pelt?" a person asked, in Dutch, and Van Pelt swallowed.

"Yes?"

She heard a pause, then the person continued.

"We have arrested the man," the person said, with a heavily Dutch accent, and she smiled faintly. "He is American and so will we send him to the United States to handle him."

"Thank you," Van Pelt said. She hung up and put the phone on the little table. She then sank down in a chair and cried.

They had traveled down a strange road, though they had always went down strange paths. But she knew that all roads led to Rome. And Rome being ultimate happiness in this context.

For once, things didn't end with Red John. It ended with the two of them – actually, the three of them – in a delivery room with their beautiful newborn in their arms.  
Van Pelt had never been happier for someone in her entire life.

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**A/N: The supermarket was the Albert Heijn, just so the Dutch people know. For me, this is the ultimate sign of OMG THAT'S SO RANDOM, but I guess it's more difficult to imagine for non-Dutch people... Consider it something like the Tesco in England. There's not really a lot more to compare it to, really, I'm not that intelligent ^^ It's basically a supermarket that's spread all over The Netherlands, and I believe that even in Amsterdam there are like 30 Albert Heijns. Well, not really 30 but there are a lot. Five minutes from my school, there's one, at the metro station and the train station of Amsterdam Central there are two. It's just sick. They are basically spamming you with a supermarket.**

**Next chapter is the Epilogue, and then this story is over already! Wish I could stop the time somehow, but no... anyways, let me know what you think and I'll answer reviews this time! I usually don't do that because I don't have time for it but Christmas is coming up so I guess I could make some compromises. **


	10. Epilogue

**A/N: Sorry for the major delay! Here's the epilogue!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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**_'I need you' – EPILOGUE_**

Van pelt smiled at the little girl in her arms. She had always loved children, especially when the only thing they did were crying, sleeping and eating. Babies were just too cute.

And, to be quite frank, it gave her a welcome distraction from the couple beside her that had been making out for the whole flight up until now – really, she had to ask them where they got the oxygen from.

But Van Pelt was already glad that they were still wearing all of their clothes – _enough_ clothes, at least.

She turned her head slightly, and she almost let out a sigh of relief when she saw that Jane and Lisbon were now just looking at each other – but with the touching, unfortunately.

It wasn't like Van Pelt didn't get why they were kissing, they had seven months to catch up with after all. But they had been in The Netherlands for a few weeks now, six after Jessica's birth, and Jane and Lisbon hadn't stopped kissing. It was kind of cute in the beginning, but after one week, Van Pelt grew instantly annoyed every time the two started kissing again.

It was suddenly going from no physical contact _at all_ to constant touches, kisses and smiles. She couldn't wait to be home and having to look at Kimball Cho's stoic face the entire day – rather that than being in the company of two love-struck teenagers.

How did they even manage to stay away from each other before Lisbon left the US? This couldn't be new behavior for them, if the longing stares in the office sometimes had been any indication. Maybe she should just be happy that they hadn't jumped each other at the HQ, that would've caused her instant nightmares.  
But right now, she still found them kind of cute. If their lives were a TV show, there would be a whole fan base demanding that they get together, and for once, Van Pelt could totally agree with these people. It wasn't like she hadn't wanted them to be together before, but she had always thought it would never happen, with both their damaged pasts and everything.

Jessica reached out and grabbed Van Pelt's index finger, painfully. Van Pelt chuckled despite the pain forming in her hand.

Her smile faltered though when the girl's face turned red.

"Oh no. No no. No, don't cry, Jessie," Van Pelt whispered, but it was already too late.

Van Pelt blushed as she saw a lot of people around them turning angry, but before she knew it, she felt Jessica was taken over from her.

"Hey, beautiful little princess, we're still here. I bet you're hungry now. No, you can't get that at Auntie Grace, it's a shame, I know," Jane whispered, while kissing Jessica's forehead and carefully placing her in Lisbon's awaiting arms. At that moment, it was convenient that Lisbon was sitting next to the window; now, Jane only had to block the view by turning in his seat.

"Are you going to do that at the office too?" Van Pelt asked.

"Jessie is a baby, Teresa is her mother. If Jessie is going to be at the office, which I doubt, but if she is, then Teresa is _supposed_ to breastfeed her-"

"That's not what I meant, of course Lisbon has to do that. I'm not stupid, Jane. I meant you two kissing the entire day. Because if that's the case, I'm gonna ask to be transferred to another team." Jane chuckled, but further ignored her, instead looked at the beautiful sight of Teresa Lisbon breastfeeding their child. He switched between looking at her face and at her chest.

Lisbon just rolled her eyes, and gently placed her hand on the side of the girl's head, blocking the view for Jane. He pouted.  
"Oh hush. It's not some peepshow for you, you know. Just because Jessica is _our_ child doesn't mean I should give you a permanent view on my breasts."

"But I would love that-"

"Oh god, you're such a child."

"But that's how you love me, right?"

"Who said anything about me loving you?"

Van Pelt chuckled, but when Jane turned around to stare at her, she looked away. He just tutted, turned back to Lisbon and was met by a genuine smile, that made his heart almost explode.

"It's just dangerous how much I love you," Jane whispered, and leaned in to place a brief kiss on Lisbon's lips. When he pulled away, she just smiled and looked down at Jessica.

"Okay, just for future reference, I don't think _anyone_ is going to like it if you're on a crime scene and you start making out. Just saying."

Jane chuckled, and turned back to Van Pelt again. "I know, Grace. We'll try to behave."

"_I_'ll try to behave. I know for a fact that Jane isn't going to be able to behave."

"I'm right here, Teresa, I could hear that."

"You were supposed to. Serves you right."

She left no room for other arguments as Jessica was finished. Lisbon pulled up her shirt and placed the girl on her shoulder, gently rubbing soothing circles on her back until she let out a little burp.

Van Pelt sighed and leant back against the seat.

"I've had quite some time to get used to seeing you two together but I will never get used to it, I guess. Not that I didn't want you to be together, because I did, but it's strange. Not weird or anything..." Van Pelt winched as she noticed she was rambling, and just closed her eyes to prevent her from continuing talking.

Jane chuckled. Lisbon shifted a bit in her seat, and he took over Jessica from her. Lisbon rested her head against his shoulder and looked at Jessica who was staring at her mother.

"Are we going to avoid the past seven months forever, Patrick?" Lisbon asked, her voice low. Jane tightened his grip on her arm, then slipped his hand to her waist and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"No. We don't _have_ to talk about if you don't want to. We can just enjoy this moment."

"Because all hell breaks loose once we're at home."

"No, not exactly. I can understand why you left, and believe it or not, I would've done the exact same thing. I'm not sure if I would have left without discussing it with you, but still, I can justify your actions."

Lisbon sighed. "Okay, then _you_ understand why I left. The problem is that _I_ still don't know why I left."

Jane paused for a good five minutes, and Lisbon was worried he was pissed as hell right now. But then, he just put his finger under her chin to make her look up at him and he kissed her so passionately, she doubted if she really deserved it after all she'd done to him.

When he pulled away, he looked down at their daughter and if she wasn't mistaken, she could see a few tears in his eyes.

"I don't care about your actions, Teresa. It's the past, we can't change it. I'm happy with us now, with our beautiful daughter who still looks exactly like you." Which was a lie, and they both knew it, because Jessica looked more like Jane than Lisbon. "If there is one thing I learned from you, Teresa, it's to live in the present and not in the past. You showed me that, now why are you still stuck in the past?"

Lisbon just closed her eyes and buried her head further into his neck.

"I don't know," she whispered. "I just hate myself. There were so many moments where I was sitting on a couch alone, craving you were there to just hold me and assure me that everything would be okay. I really don't get why I didn't give in on one of these moments. It would have made it easier now."

"Teresa, please, stop," Jane whispered, so low Lisbon had to strain to hear it. He pulled Jessica even closer and made the little girl rest on his arm between the faces of her parents – she was already asleep. "Look at this little beauty. She doesn't know you did something wrong, and I'm not planning on telling her that because you _didn't_ do anything wrong. You were a soon-to-be mother and you did what every mother would have done – protecting her child. From Red John, and from me. Because you knew that I still wouldn't be able to handle the situation, after all, you always knew. You know me better than anyone else in this entire world. You did what you thought was best for your child and I can only bow for that, Teresa. It just makes you the perfect mother. And I'm so glad you did this because I had more time to figure out my feelings this way. I wouldn't hurt you, and you wouldn't hurt me, though that's less important than the first one. We would get time to think of the perfect future for us. You made us both realize what we _didn't_ want for our child. You did the right thing, don't ever doubt that."

He swallowed, and Lisbon could see there were still tears in his eyes. She reached out and wiped them away, and just when she was about to pull her hand back, he stopped her, and placed a small kiss on her palm.

"This all made me think about the future we could have. When we were seeing each other for two months, I already thought about it but I never figured it would be anything more than just us seeing each other. But I did think about it, and that's why I started looking for houses on sale." Lisbon shook her head immediately, but Jane continued anyways. They had went over that a lot of times but Jane had kept on pushing it. "I started looking for houses, and there is one perfect family house. I want us to live there, Teresa. With the three of us, and maybe more in the future, if you just let me. I've been living without you for seven months and I was dead on the inside until I saw you again in that supermarket and it felt like my heart started beating again. It was the strangest feeling I've ever felt in my entire life, and I realized in that moment that _you_ are the one I've been waiting for all along. _You_ are the one I want to grow old with, _you_ are the one I want to wake up next to every morning, taking all the slaps you'll give me at my admitting that I watched you sleep the entire night. I want _you_ to carry my children – _our_ children. I want _you_."

Lisbon swallowed to get rid of the lump in her throat, and she reached out to grab his free hand.

"Oh Patrick," she whispered, and squeezed his hand. Jane just shook his head. He pulled Jessica close again, she just continued sleeping, and he got out of his seat, kneeling down in front of Lisbon on one knee.

"I didn't want to do this in a plane but you leave me no choice. Will you please marry me, Teresa Lisbon?"

They noticed that all the passengers were quiet all of a sudden.

Lisbon stared at Jane for a few long seconds, before she let out what sounded like a sigh of relief and that was the exact moment that she let her tears spring free.

She couldn't say anything, so she just nodded, and as Jane sat down again, she instantly pulled him closer and kissed him senseless.

For a second, it seemed the two forgot about everybody around them, even Jessica who was now pressed between them seemed to have slipped their minds, and Van Pelt moved quickly in removing the sleeping baby before Jane pushed the armrest separating his and Lisbon's seats back up and pressed Lisbon back in her chair.

While Jane's proposal and Lisbon's consent with it earned them a lot of appreciative claps, they really didn't care. Because for once, even if it were just a few minutes, their life made complete sense. Simply with the person they loved the most.

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story! Thanks for reading!**


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